i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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