do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
