I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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