Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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