Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Houston, we have a squirter
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
