I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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