So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize