We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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