I'm lost and stupid without you.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
