ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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