I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
