Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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