you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
There are leaves in my underwear?
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