It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
