I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
