This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
