Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
