My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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