I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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