Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize