what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
