Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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