last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
