I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
