My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
