We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
