Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
