I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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