just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
