You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
