She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
