I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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