My balls are so social today.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
