the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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