Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
