Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
