Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
