Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
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