How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
