babies were throwing up all over the place
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize