mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
