i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize