Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I don't deserve a penis
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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