Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
