Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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