i think my mom watched the whole time
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
