This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
