Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
