i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
