Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
oh god the rape fog is back!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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