She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
