Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
