Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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