my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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