I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
