Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
