Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
