whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
