Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Let's paint friendship bongs
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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