You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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