hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize