Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
